Blader Digest: Knockin’ ‘em Back

Get yourself a cold one because it’s been one hot, sexy week in blading and there’s a lot to cover.

KELSO QUITS:

So, apparently Colin Kelso wants nothing to do with any of his sponsors.

Never afraid to speak his mind — especially about his true feelings about who’s paying his bills — Colin Kelso is out. No more pro skates, pro frames, pro wheels, etc.

While I agree that being a “pro” rollerblader is a bit weird because of the lack of money in the sport, I do wholeheartedly disagree with his assessment of the broken-home bullshit he’s spewing. Colin has often talked about his family life and how he was born into a life that he shunned. You know, the kind of with a shitload of money.

You see, Colin is better than that. He’s better than his peers for so many reasons. The rest of the pros, well, like Colin said, broken homes and low intelligence. “Retards,” so it seems.

Colin Kelso is now America’s version of Stephane Alfano.Congrats for that.

I can’t say I’ve ever bought any “pro” shit with Colin’s name on it because he seems to have a cloud of arrogance and self-righteousness to him. I can see I’ve always make solid investments.

I know I’m not alone.

Speaking of buying shit…

YOUR GUIDE TO ONLINE SHOPPING:

We all know times are tough and money may be a bit skimp, but here’s the best thing you can do with your money this week, besides spending it all on booze and women that don’t deserve it.

1. Winston Wardwell signature coozy from Jin Joint:

My only complaint about this is that it doesn’t come in tall boy or 40 oz sizes. How about a Tony Rivituso Tall Boy Coozy? Yes, I think that would be a wonderful idea. I suggest adding his signature from Be-Mag on there:

2. Valo 4 Life World Premiere tickets from TheM Goods.

Like you needed another reason to come to San Francisco, throw on a costume, and party with your blading buddies. This thing is looking to be the party you’d be talking about for a long time if you could remember any of it. Just do it. Don’t be afraid.

3. Franco Cammayo’s new Eulogy wheels.

Solid wheels from an even more solid skater. Throw those volcanoes on your skates and you’ll be doing rough makios and other tricks in no time. *

* This statement is not exactly true.

4. THE APPLE JUICE

Yes, I’ve actually read Jay Green’s The Apple Juice. It’s philosophical, yet adequately expresses a general feeling we all share about skating: a certain feeling of freedom while being part of a bigger whole, yet close enough to individuality as we can get while still being the same.

If that assessment makes any sense. However, there has been some debate on Rollernews about the authenticity of some of the statements Jay makes in the description.

Don’t be a slave. Read it yourself and make your own judgments. However, for $25 bucks for a 75-page book, you might want to share a copy with a friend. Buy it on Blurb.

(And before the Feinberg-Cullen conspiracy theorist who’s got nothing better to do that spread his feces-like retardation all over the internet, yes, the book is dedicated to Sean Cullen. Let your craziness know no bounds.)

U.S. OPEN

In case you haven’t heard, there was a video about rollerblading that was set to play at the U.S. Open. You know, Olympus, Kevin Dowling, Montre, Rob G., NYC, etc.

Well, as luck would have it, it’s not the video from the U.S. Open that everyone is talking about:

Fucking cock ass shit balls.

Show-stealing dickless Jersey Shore wannabe motherfucker.

Still, there’s some positive vibes and love going around.

STAYING JUICED ALL THE TIME:

How gangsta.

AJ’s got a good idea.

Brazil’s always juiced.

What happens when you combine AJ’s and Brazil’s juiciness powers?

Stay tuned for more of that shit.

Until then, I part you with this edit from our friends in Nebraska. Good times.

Boom Shocka Locka! from Corey Buller on Vimeo.

Blade or Die,

Brian Krans

P.S. Cameron Talbott is fucking awesome.

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