Blader Digest: Juicing up the kids

There’s that ‘oh shit’ look…

Taig looking down in Paris

French blader Taig Khris has embraced the slogan “chicks dig the long ball.” Instead of long ball, though, he’s going for the long drop. Above is a picture of him staring down from where he’ll drop into a mega quarter-pipe on May 28th. He’s all smiles in the video below until he gets that look. That’s reality sinking in.

The goal is to beat out skateboarder Danny Way’s record by dropping in off the Eiffel Tower from 40 meters above the ground. And for we non-metric system-following Americans, that drop is only about 132 feet. Think of it like dropping in off the top of a lighthouse. Not too bad, right? Shee-iiight!!!

Here’s one of two videos posted on Rollernews this week about Taig explaining how it will all go down. Since I’m neither French nor Canadian, I cannot translate it for you. Find some sexy French girl to do it for you, slacker.

We, the fools behind and the rest of the blading family, salute the hell out of what you’re doing Taig. Best of luck.

Happiness is in the eye of the beholder:

Via Rock Killers:

No commentary needed

Pissing off your parents since back-in-the-day:

(Insert witty comment here)

Once again, Ben Rogers at ONE comes up with another spectacular read in his regular “Lookback” series of old-school blading goodness. This week, his sights were dead-on Senate and successfully deconstructs the brand that gave rollerblading an image. Or as he put it: No blading company has ever gained the same amount of success and notoriety that Senate achieved during the late ’90s. Senate was rollerblading’s only Super Company and the original skater-owned company. It became a part of a corporation, but the value of supporting skater-owned companies has remained to this day. Senate was the driving force that created the industry.

True dat. Read that shit at ONE. While you’re there, scroll down a bit and read Colin Kelso‘s writings in Web Roll, a feature on the site that seems to be having some identity issues lately. There’s a shit-storm of controversy regarding Colin’s words on the future and such. Here’s an excerpt:

You see, I was convinced that the possible lifestyles outlined for me in society weren’t worth living.

So I made a conscious decision to use rollerblading as means to break out of those forms, and those molds, and to try to live what I believe would be a superior life.

A life based on success, but not in terms of money, in terms of immortality. I want to be remembered when I die for doing something I loved at all cost with no compromise.


There are people that make millions of dollars a year to take horrible movies, pull out any kind of redeeming footage, use some cool effects, a voice over and condense that piece of shit into 30 second of flash and dance to get you into a movie theater. Then again, this is blading. No one makes shit. If there are wheeled boots, it’s a varying degree of gold—tarnished or sparkly—but gold nonetheless. And, the teasers and trailers are always way better.

Then again, I can’t say I’ve seen a teaser for an edit before. However, the guys at Create Originals have ended that.

This one has all you need: a hammer and some cleavage.

CREATE ORIGINALS™ 2010 Am Team Edit Teaser from Create Originals on Vimeo.

Conan is still way better…

I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again: Leno sucks. And no, it has nothing to do with the rollerblading reference mentioned below. He’s sucked for a long time before that.

Hopefully you’ve heard about Faisal Shahzad, who wanted to blow up a car in Times Square in beautiful NYC. Leno did.

The bullshit begins...

The jokes are old. (Snoop Dogg’s speech? Really? That was funny a decade ago.) The delivery is half-assed. But, hey, there are rollerblading terrorists!

...and it keeps going and going and going

Bring back Conan, please. Until then, keep up to date on NYC by checking out Be-Mag’s interview with Angelo Ferrer of the Art of Rolling.

Summer, Summer, Summertime…

Sexy, isn't it?

Ah, yes. It’s summertime. And nothing says summer quite like the road trip. You know, eating too many sunflower seeds, ODing on energy drinks, jerking off into Subway bags and then passing it around the car. (Okay, the last one isn’t normal. But that’s what my college roommate did. I wasn’t in said car. Promise.)

Moving on…It seems pros are going all over the world collecting clips for a ton of upcoming videos. Demetrious George has been all over South America and the rest of the USD Team might be heading that way soon. Footage Tape has been to Puerto Rico and back. If it’s warm and sunny, bladers are going there. Good for them.

The Valo team is proving once again that they know how to travel. They’ve just begun a month-long tour across Europe and getting around more than that aforementioned Subway bag.

First stop, England. And you can tell in the edit below that everyone’s favorite flipping-and-spinning Japanese blader, Itchy, is already feeling the travel woes. Check out his new ‘do. He doesn’t pull that crap in Japan or the U.S. He’s a good kid, but I think sometimes he gets caught up with the wrong crowd.

CSI Liverpool from Themgoods on Vimeo.

Stories and stories and stories…

I’m convinced, without a doubt, that there is no blader with more interesting stories than Fallon Heffernan. She’s always out doing something nutty and even when she’s trying to get some shut-eye, the fun shit doesn’t stop. If there’s anyone that needs a biographer, it’s our Fallon. And she deserves all of our love for that.

Go on...

The saga of “Beanie”…

If there’s any more overused word in the rollerblading vernacular, it’s “future.” It seems to be the one thing everyone really cares about, which is a good thing. We want our sport to continue on long after we’re all wheelchair-ridden old geezers wearing Depends. Occasionally, there are scary times when it doesn’t look like that will happen, like when you’re out blading and notice everyone you’re skating with is in their late 20s. That happens quite a bit out here in NorCal.

So this Saturday was no different. There were a few young cats — and by that I mean just barely legal enough to buy a Tall Boy — and the rest of us broken and aging. We were skating the Scotts Valley skatepark. It happens to be park of a larger park and when we were skating it, about a hundred little kids were beating the shit out of each other in lacrosse. Oh, but did their wee wandering eyes not drift over to where the bladers had taken over the park.

Soon, dozens of them were camping out near the ramps, cheering on the bladers, especially their favorite — a shredder they came to know as “Beanie” because of his headware. You might know him as Juicy Hamburger or Professor X. He’s probably known as AMall and Trust owner Justin Hertel. Yeah, that guy can shred.

That might not be the right hat, but that's still "Beanie"

Besides “Beanie,” Rob “Gray Shirt” G., Kennan “Yankee” Scott and others had those kids so juiced they should have lost their voices from the cheering. The kids got a lesson in what’s up with rollerblading and a few stickers to slap on their Trapper Keepers (but I doubt kids use those anymore). As we were leaving, one dad said to us, “Thanks for the entertainment.”

But, the best was when a little tyke on a skateboard said, “Mom, I want a pair of rollerblades.”

That, my friends, is securing the future.

It’s all about being seen.

A bitchin' one, holmes

Blade or Die,

— Brian Krans


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