Blader Digest: Mustache Rides

iPhone Blading

There are 50 million iPhones out there. Some are being better used than others

Normally, as I think the user manual dictates, when you see a video from an iPhone posted online, it’s someone’s dog doing something retarded or people getting into a vicious fight, which almost always involves some kind of weapon or a dude wearing a fanny pack. Those fights usually begin on a bus.

But who cares about that shit. Matt Morrison, Papa Don of SDSF, is like yet another technology-centered guys out there. Fortunately for us, his other love is blading.

So he started a little project: iPhoneBlading.com. All blading edits shot on his pocket wonder-device. While other bladers are shelling out the cash to get on the HD tip, Matt is saying, “Fuck it. I’ve got a camera right here.” So far on the site, he’s got some original work, including one on how to keep your white Razors looking bleachy fresh.

This week, they had Nick Wood — who was not shy in saying the edits were pretty much “fundamentally everything I am against” —  and friends getting some street clips all while the wind is providing the soundtrack into the iPhone’s shitty microphone.

They did link up to an edit people have been talking about, but I’ve been too lazy to look for on my own. It answers — finally — the oldest question in blading.

Cam-T Shredding

A few weeks ago, we had a short blurb about bladers in Montana, specifically mentioning a young up-and-comer by the name of Cameron Talbott. And I’m glad we did, because, we’ll, the kid has been kicking even more ass now that the state is mostly unfrozen.

This week, Valo posted an edit of one of their latest-added flow riders doing a whole bunch of crazy shit. Let’s just say when you start an edit with a royale to gap over an SUV, good things are coming.

See for yourself:

Cameron Talbott Valo/Amall FLOW edit from jbarr on Vimeo.

Because we here at BladeOrDie are fortunate to consider a young ripper a friend of ours, we’re proud to throw some exclusive photos and info about the seemingly mysterious Mr. Talbott, who you might have seen in Shred ‘Til You’re Dead and the upcoming 4Life. Apparently, Montana’s all about the DIY.

 

 

 

 

More exclusive shit:

Anyone who is anyone knows the only reason you get your own blading site is to become an elitist son of a bitch (and another e-mail address). After all, we’re all better than you. Don’t forget that.

Thanks to UK blader Geoff Davies that’s getting much easier. That chap just so happened to release his video Fragmented Networks and since he knows I refuse to spend any money on anything blading related, since I’ve learned blading is about waiting with my hand out for my well-deserved hook-up, he decided to release his firm grasp on his intellectual property and let me check it out on Vimeo. But since you’re not as cool as me, you don’t get to see it without forking out $18. You, however, only get a screenshot.

This is just the beginning of all that hot shit

But seriously, since I have seen it, let me assure you, there is some damn good blading from the other side of the pond. It’s well shot and edited and the soundtrack kicks fucking ass. As they said in promoting it, “We wanted to create something people would put on to get juiced to before they went out for a session as opposed to all the arty farty bullshitty videos we’ve seen come out lately.”

Well…

You know, but in a good, truthful way

Pardon my rant:

Just a feeling

If I hear about how much blading needs to grow one more time, I’ll make like my boy up there. I’m not saying that being future-focused is bad for you, I’m just saying being future-focused is bad for you.

It seems at times we’ve all become so intent on worrying about blading’s future and how to put money into the sport that we’re missing out on a lot of good things in the present. Well, some of us are.

It’s like we’re one of those “career-minded” assholes: so intent on what’s going to happen next, sacrificing our lives for a payoff that won’t feel as good as we thought when it finally comes because we’ve forsaken the present for so long that we won’t know what to do with it when we can enjoy it.

And when most people talk of the future, they’re not talking about a healthy future, they’re talking about a commercialized, corporate one — where how blading is marketed isn’t by people who skate but rather those who hover over expense reports. Because those people are cool.

Really, what would be the benefits of having blading in the mainstream again? What could be so good about having the image of something we all love used to sell beef jerkey, kids T-shirts and whatever else Tony Hawk is willing to slap his name on? The best answer I’ve ever been given is “money.” Last time I checked, nothing good has ever come out of something where that’s the reason.

Shredder and film student Thomas McGovern answered that question in a language I better understand:

1991…when George Foreman was known for something else besides his grills

The Mustache Game (No, not that one)

Here’s a new fun, interactive feature here on BladeOrDie. It’s a game. It’s called: Which One of These Is Not a Rollerblader?

It’s our salute to those who embrace the trash within them — whether it be White, Mexican, Eskimo or whatever — and let nature take it’s course, even if Madame Earth needs a wee bit of the guidance.

Let’s begin:

Option A

Option B

Option C

Option D

Ok, so now that you have your choices, select one, write us a 500-word essay in the comments section and the winner — based on correct choice and the ability to weave a haiku in there seamlessly — gets a 4-pack of Gillette razors at the end of the summer to go along with their awkwardly-shaped pale space on their face when they shave their Snuffalufagus off. Until then, may blading be like your lip-sweater: grow, bitch, grow.

A parting thought…

 

 

Oh, and this has nothing to do with anything other than what I’ll be having nightmares about for the next few months.

What the fuck are you talking about, Tien?

(Insert crap into pants here)

Blade or Die,

Brian Krans

12 Comments

  • not dre wrote:

    i love step on tricks. good thing i am neither pro nor am

  • Peter D wrote:

    Just wanted to let everyone know, Cameron is not up and coming, home boy is OG, just peep his clips from Sacrifice, OG 2004 status ked.

  • bballog wrote:

    how could you not write about the German dude doing the 12-stair handslide in a yellow jumper. j/k

  • I have no idea what the hell I said considering I started writing it at 5 a.m. today.

    Yes, Cam is the man. However, he is new to the flow/am circuit.

  • HAHAHHAHAHAHA
    fantastic.

  • […] 0 Brian Krans is coming through with a new Blade or die blog entry. The new Blader Digest deals with the question of mustache rides and gives you a quick rundown of things that happened during the last week of blading. Sit back and read everything in one nice compacted read over at bladeordie. […]

  • yea i dont get why everyone wants blading to be mainstream so bad either. the only good that would come from it would be all the pros would be actually making the money they deserve. but does it doesnt do anything for the average blader. a bunch of companies will jump in and try and make money off it again then leave when the money is gone. you might even get a bunch of kids to start skating for the wrong reasons like you have with skateboarding. then they would quit when its not cool anymore

  • […] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Craig B, dana shaw and Thomas McGovern, Brian Krans. Brian Krans said: Blader Digest: Mustache Rides — http://bladeordie.com/?p=184 […]

  • Zac Hutchings wrote:

    Great issue and yes being in the mainstream would be shit i like the freedom there are things i dont like but i would hate the culture of rollerblading to turn into some large corporate thing

  • i wish rollerblading was mainstream, maybe then it’d be easier for me to get new skates, parts,wheels, etc.

    just think i could be like “yah i skate” and the other person wouldnt say ” you skateboard”…

    and perhaps they’d stop building skateparks where i live, by skateboarders for skateboarders.

    maybe i could even see one of the skaters i grew up watching on tv in the dew tour or the x games and the money.

  • Eugene Coe (a hellatious spammer) wrote:

    Haha I am honestly the first reply to this incredible article!?

    (Krans: No. That is why you a dirty, filthy spammer and I removed the weblink from your name)

  • […] being future-focused isn’t bad, but it can be bad for you if that’s all you’re looking at. Then again, […]