Not only is the country a favored road trip spot for 19-year-old college students, it’s also a great skating scene.
As usual in the summer, Canada is the spot. And there is greater person to be your bladecation tour guide that Nick Wood. While the rest of the Remz team was out all over the world, he visited lovely Toronto. His observations about our northern neighbors make the edit worth watching over and over. So, you should do that. Because what’s more fun than dead babies and anal beds?
“Toronto has no bears… because they know about Mike.”
Why the hell else isn’t there more great humor like this is blading. C’mon, that’s just brilliant!
And since they started the edit with some dead baby jokes, here are a few of my personal favorites:
How do you put a baby in a blender? Feet first so you can see its expression.
How do you get the baby out of a blender? Spoon it into a bowl.
How to you get the baby out of the bowl? Chips.
And, then there’s this classic:
What’s gross? A pile of dead babies.
What’s grosser? Watching the one live one at the bottom eat his way out.
And when that little guy gets out of there, he’s sure to become an outstanding citizen, right?
Right…moving on…but not far…
If Nick Wood didn’t do a good enough job for you to visit Toronto, then hopefully the guys at Roll Toronto can. Check out their beautiful edit below.
If you haven’t yet, bookmark their site. Sure, there is all the great skating and edits they have, but also their wit. That’s right, wit. Just look at where you would leave a comment. It’s not all lame and dumb like ours. Theirs is cool.
If that doesn’t make you want to get up to Canada, maybe the Six Won Six guys can. Because, apparently, only about four rollerbladers haven’t been to Toronto in the last month. Some of us can’t travel because we’re too busy keeping it busy in our home areas, BBQing and doing other gangsta shit.
(On that note, you should know JSF El Presidente ESG has absolutely no problem bombing hills at 65 mph and weaving through traffic filled with dumb ass soccer moms who don’t know how to make left turns.)
Then again, sometimes you get caught up in hillbombing and BBQing and playing frisbee and skating colleges with non-existent security guards and hanging out with your friends to miss really, really great events that are going on in your own city. I, mean, great things that show how dope blading can be but you’re too busy doing gangsta shit that you don’t even notice real gangsta shit.
But hey, the Bay is a happening place. There’s no sense in missing a great opportunity when there’s another one in the future.
Duck Hunting in Iowa
So, Remz flow rider Logan Clark has this notion that he’s the first person to do the trick that he calls “The Duck Hunt.” Rough on the front foot, toe on the back. While I can’t claim to be any blade historian, I can’t say I’ve seen anyone else do the trick. It comes smack-dab in the middle of the edit below while Logan and friends session one of the best parks to have in your backyard in lovely, Davenport, Iowa. (Home of the Iowa River Rumble Aug. 6 & 7, 2010)
As usual, things on Twitter — and the public’s general consensus on our beloved sport — are…
Fuck them all. No, we’re not human. We’re above that level. And as far as what we’re supposed to be told, well, maybe it’s along the lines of something like…
We won’t be swayed by a public perception of what’s “cool” and what’s not. After all, things like American Idol, Jersey Shore and wearing glasses without frames are about as popular as skateboarding. So, with that considered, I’m glad we’re not popular. We own our sport, not corporations with marketing plans based on telling us what to think, wear or how to act.
Whatever. We are a passionate people, resilient to no end. Just check out this event in Taiwan, hosted by Tien Chang.
Blade or Die,
— Brian Krans