Blader Digest: Image is Everything

As I write this I’m blasted on cold medication, pain killers, and a slight bit of Jameson. If none of this makes any sense, contact our management for a full refund.

Or blow me.

I’m sorry.

That last bit was a bit much. It’s not me, it’s the drugs.

This Dude is 36.

That is awesome

What does this edit prove? Age is bullshit.

Moving on…

Ode to the p-Rail

It seems like everyone’s p-rails have been getting a lot of love lately.

That’s good, because I know how lonely those things can get sometimes. You know, when you have to keep that shit stored in the garage because your neighborhood crackheads don’t like the noise, so they always call the cops, who want to beat the crap out of you for no reason?

Oh, you guys don’t have that problem? Weird.

Everyone should have a p-rail. It’s good for ya. Makes you a better skater.

But—and I’m not sure when this happened—it seems a union has been formed between the practice materials (both coping boxes and rails) and cameras. Maybe it’s the availability of the technology, but it seems it’s now necessary to put out p-rail edits.

This isn’t the only one I’ve seen lately. I didn’t keep the links for the other edits because I thought they were extremely pointless. This is the only one worth watching.

And the large amount of grind box clips creep into edits:

The Conference Broadcast, September 2010 from ConferenceTV on Vimeo.

I thought p-rail edits were only to be for certain times, like:

  • It’s winter and where you live has horrible weather.
  • You’re on house arrest.
  • You’re always producing shit and ran out of options.
  • Your home setup is that fucking rad.
  • Someone is 720ing into a rough makio or something.
  • You’re bored.
  • You’re lazy.
  • Or, if you’re trying to sell them…

You don’t see any other sports filming their practices (although, according to many, in skating there is no such thing as “practice”) and putting them out there for the world to enjoy.

Just because you put your skates on doesn’t mean you have to let everyone know with a three-minute edit.

If you make a p-rail edit in hopes to get props, you’ll get none here.

Skate your p-rail. You don’t have to film and share it.

It’s a fucking p-rail.

We’re all Moms in Hot pants

What we mean when we say “rollerblading” is a lot different than what everyone else says “rollerblading.”

Actually, rollerblading was on the front page of this week. When they were looking for ways people can shed as many pounds as possible, as quickly as they can, well, rollerblading was No. 1. That’s right. We skate, so we really shouldn’t be fat.

And what image went with the story?

Oh, they’re talking about that kind of rollerblading, the kind with the all-plastic Blade Runners that oddly match your hot pants.

And yes this is the media’s—you know, the people who are supposed to be informing other people—interpretation of blading is spandex-clad woman  looking to palm-slide under an 18-wheeler on the expressway.

Or maybe that’s my imagination. She’s probably just skating in a really, really awkward and groin-pulling friendly way.

Yeah, they kind of do look like evil rabbits

Then again, the audience for most online health information is comprised dominantly by moms, throwing up a photo of some dude doing an AO negative rough fish would kind of be lost on the audience. Then again, throw up a porn star and you’ll probably have even more mothers in your audience.

(BOOM! Jokes, motherfuckers!)

But in all honesty, I can’t really say I’ve seen any other mom skating besides Dawn Everett. And I’m 100-percent certain she doesn’t blade in hot pants.

Everyone’s image of something is always connected to their personal experiences. Most people didn’t watch the X-Games in the 90s, most people don’t watch “extreme” sports, and most people don’t have the cognitive abilities separate rollerblading from skateboarding.

These women are glad this toy is trying to help them fit into their mom jeans

They think we’re the same.

I know it's old, but I still love it

I mean, c’mon, how many times have you been booted from a spot and a security guard, cop, or anyone else refers to what you’re doing as skateboarding?

Then again, it all depends on what country you live in and what kind of video games you play.

The general populous, at least the one I live in, has no clue what we do. And why is that?

Is it the fault of ESPN for not broadcasting our events?

Is it the fault of corporate sponsors for not projecting our image in advertising?

Is society as a whole—and their love of mainstream sports that require little artistic interpretation and rely solely on statistics—to blame?

Nope, it’s each one of us. It’s our fault.

We all, not as a collective whole but as a group of individuals, need to start doing something that’s worth noticing, like Miss Layla Quinones of the Art of Rolling:

But then again, don’t we have to agree on what that vision or image is?

I can say for certain, after looking at online comments and message boards, that I most certainly have no clue what blading is about. It’s all talk of “what’s good for blading” and people making things that no one hopes “anyone outside the industry sees.”

Who has blading all figured out? Who has some kind of superior knowledge into our collective intellect and has managed to take our intangible thoughts and make them tangible for all to see?

Is it Brazillionaire? Is it Sean Sea? Is it Paul John? Is it Ivan Narez? Is it Lonnie Gallegos? Is it Vinny Minton? Is is some kid out there we haven’t heard of yet?


And now my fucking head hurts.

You don’t know what you don’t see

Individual bladers are responsible for making blading visible.

So, if you’re one of those people who sit at the skate park, wondering why there are so many skateboarders around you and not enough bladers to back you up in a fist fight, realize that it’s your fault. You speak for blading, so if you’re only seen and heard by people with wood or pedals under their feet, then you have no one to blame but yourself.

  • Street skate: You should be doing it anyway. The busier the spot the better. Yeah, you’ll have more people around you, but if you can’t cut around a few people to get to your trick, then you shouldn’t be doing any tricks. People will come up to you. People will ask about them. Yeah, people will heckle, but fuck them.
  • Skate to school, or work, or wherever you can: Anytime you can put something out on the street that isn’t a car or a bike, then you’re doing your job. Not only will it make your skating better, people will see you. Skitch a bus and watch tons of heads turn.
  • Make your skates visible: Carry them out in the open, not in a bag. If you’re a dreaded cubicle jockey like me, leave those skates out in the open. The first few weeks at my job, I had people passing me all of the time asking about them.

Those are just my ideas.

Make what you want out of blading, whether it be nothing or everything.

So long as you’re not a dick about it, we’re cool.

Blade or die,

— Brian Krans

P.S. — Remember, dosing levels on cold medications are only suggestions. Sometimes, however, you should listen to them.


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