MORE AT 10:
World champ Brian Aragon has been a busy, busy boy. When not dominating comps, filming for Game Theory or pretty much kicking ass, he’s getting blading the kind of attention you won’t see on Break.com.
Now that he’s calling Cali his home, he’s recently been featured on San Diego news for, well, being Brian Aragon and living in San Diego. Since those commie sons of bitches don’t allow video embedding, you have to go to their site to see it.
And, yes, there are a shitload of skateboarding references, some Ron Burgundy-esque remarks (it is his city after all), and horrible, horrible puns, from the talking head. Like turbopuns.
Still even getting blading on TV is HUGE. Most TV stations only cover mainstream sports and anytime they cover anything remotely-close to fringe, it’s a quick little bit where they interview shithead little 9-year-olds who can barely stand up.
Then again, if Aragon moved out of his home state of Colorado — where he has a skate park named after him — that is news. Not news for everyone, but enough for someone of that talent to get 73 seconds on the local news.
The best part: we can all laugh at what tricks were featured. Aragon doing just a back farv? That’s funny. Still, big ass airs, a 450 royale and such, but not the retardedly-big we all know The Prince to be.
NO MORE FACE-BLADE-BOOK:
For anyone who’s thought of starting a blade version of FaceBook, you know it’s not easy. Mainly, it’s getting people weened off of The Book and onto your site. Not easy, especially because there are always more photos of drunk chicks on FaceBook. That’s why the damn thing was invented.
As I’ve last checked, Scumlife was still going, but its demise is near. If you’re like me, you created the profile, played around a bit, and kind of forgot about it. Like your accounts on 5Five, Friendster or MySpace account, it just didn’t last long.
It was to no fault of the kids at Scumpire.com that the social networking factor didn’t work out, it just didn’t. Either way, don’t delete their bookmark. They’ve still got more regular, original content and contests than this sorry ass blog, site or whatever the fuck we’re trying (but not too hard) to do.
HOW TO: PISS PEOPLE OFF IN 43 SECONDS:
Step 1: Get an old camera
Step 2: Get some B footage of you and some friends frolicking around on boots.
Step 3: Make a quick fun edit.
Step 4: Post in on Rollernews
How to succeed at not pissing anyone off? Do nothing so no one has anything to bitch about. Don’t live. Just exist. If you truly must do something, make sure it’s so bland and boring it barely gets noticed.
Oh, and Mr. Baggozzi, please stay out of my columns for at least a week. Thanks.
Commentors, I made you all dinner:
KING DIRTY UPDATE:
Kevin Dowling has been touring (like everyone else, apparently) getting clips with those big names for the Olympus competition. You may have heard of it. If you haven’t, well, your loss. The drama to this whole saga: the camera Kevin won for the contest was stolen. But, it’s been replaced by those with big hearts and enduring spirits, like people in movies on the Independent Film Channel.
But, as everyone knows, you can’t create quality blade films without at least a stop in New York. I mean, c’mon, it’s New York, Fucking New York.
So, instead of me sitting on the Tupac side of the country and telling you what happened, you should head over to the IROLLYNY site and see what the NY family has going on with Kevin and anyone else cool who stops in the city.
QUICK NOTE: THIS IS GOING TO RULE
And I thought Rolling Rock was just a shitty, watered-down beer.
Sometimes memories are so great you can’t just let them sit around in your brain. Hell, with all the substances you keep forcing up there, they might get lost like your car keys or self-respect.
So, that’s why they created tattoos. And just in case you ever regain consciousness in some back alley in a major metropolitan city with your tender bits stuck inside a Gatorade bottle and another person stuck to the other end, you might forget some of your priorities in life (except you’re glad you remembered to wrap it up before going at it with someone who could be your biological mother). So, if you get anything tatted on your body that ends in “Or Die,” that means it’s pretty important. Mainly, because you’re not dead.
While I can’t say anyone on tour with Vibralux has had any nefarious Gatorade bottle stories, they did get some ink. And by “they” I mean skaters you might have heard of like Don Bambrick, Chris Haffey, and Billy O’Neil.
If you really, really hate to love it, check out more on their site and stay up with the tour mayhem.
And if you want your name sealed in such immortality — not like Haffey’s going to get his name tatted on his neck, mind you — you can DONATE to the tour. Depending on how much you give, you could get anything from your name listed on credits section of the video, or even their van Betty White. If you’re in the business of getting such a big beautiful Golden Girl (before they all die off), check out Betty in the mix of something a little bit less destructive with a Gatorade bottle.
And, yes, bottle-flipping has long since replaced the kendama for off-skating time way to gather up B footage.
And just in case this drooling mix of nonsense wasn’t enough for you, make sure to stay tuned to BladeOrDie.com this week for our second installment of Get To Know starring the roving rollerblader, Mr. Rob G.
Blade or Die,
— Brian Krans