Blader Digest: The People’s Champion

This is a photo courtesy of Kevin Dowling and in no way reflects David Sizemore's opinion regarding anything in this column. Any insinuation that it does is irresponsible on the part of the opinion-holder.

I was told the title of this post should be “Rollerblading is Dead,” but I’ve heard that talk so many times that it’s become trite to the point of nauseating.

But hell, I haven’t seen this people that riled up about a rollerblading contest since, well, last year.

And, yes, I’m talking about the Sizemore/Cudot battle that just recently concluded in the World Rolling Series Uploaded contest. If you’re unfamiliar with that, you must not be friends with any rollerbladers on Facebook.

Here are, for your reconsideration, the two edits. We’ll let the round’s winner go first. Straight out of France comes Julien Cudot…

Now, it’s time for a bit of that hotness the ATL is so famous for from David Sizemore…

Anyone else’s palms all sweaty with excitement? After getting that juiced, I’m probably going to die doing something dumb on my skate to work.

But, as the internet gods would have it, Cudot would come out on top of this round.

There was, however, a sizable fluctuation of votes at the very end. The logical explanation was that the rest of the world was waking up in the midnight hour here on the West Coast or there was larger play at foot.

Some people had their theories and were not shy about putting up on the World Rolling Series Facebook page.

Social media blew up on this contest. And, since I’m an American and friends with predominantly Americans, it seemed the push was behind Sizemore. There were countless memes, reposts, and the like. One person even took the time to break down the stats of the two edits…

Never before have I seen rollerblading social media blow up with such resounding support for a competitor.

We ‘mericuhcans didn’t take the news of the results very well.

To put it the best way, if the internet occupied by American rollerbladers—and many others around the world—were Oakland, this bitch would be a pile of broken windows, smoldering rubble, and a few dozen kids with head wounds.

Beau Cottington, obviously, took it the hardest of anyone.

I don’t want to go that far because the French did give us the Statue of Liberty and many things since then, but fuck it…

‘mericuh!

Thankfully—and I’m not sure if David’s edit is still eligible—there’s always the six judges (evenly split between the U.S. and Europe) to take a look at the whole deal and issue their statements.

Gentlemen, on behalf of all that is good and decent in this world, please consider Sizemore’s edit for the Uploaded champion.

He is, without a doubt, the true people’s champion.

Just a mere four years ago, America’s David Sizemore was often ridiculed for his helmet, orange pants, and abilities to spin into and out of nearly every grind he did. He was merely a teenage then, eyes all bright and cheerful with wonder and amazement like the tie-dyed T-shirts he was so fond of.

What did he do about it? Did he cry? Did he whimper?

No he fucking did not.

He strapped bald eagles to his feet, made himself a cape out of an American flag, and rose out of the south like they always said they would.

He was busy winning the Hoedown, Last Man Standing, and Mind the Gap in the same year.

It’s like Sizemore Rocky-ed the fuck out of rollerblading and knocked the shit of Apollo Creed and Ivan Drago in the same year. (Okay, if we’re really using a boxing analogy, Sizemore would be more like Little Mac from Punch-Out!, but that dude’s dope as fuck, too.)

But that was 2009 and we’re about to crack open a tallboy for 2013.

Oh, how the time flies.

In that time, Sizemore has only gotten better and quite frighteningly so. He must have been training with that old bastard Mickey because he sure took his advice:

“You’re gonna eat lightnin’ and you’re gonna crap thunder!”

‘Cause that’s what he does.

I don’t remember what magazine it was in, but there’s a photo of Sizemore skating this ridiculous obstacle a few years ago and the caption said the trick was “actually a failed suicide attempt.”

Sizemore’s choice of spots could be instantaneously deadly if it weren’t for his athletic ability.

If you disagree with that assessment, go back and watch his WRS edit for the 100th time.

No one and I mean no one in their logical mind would go up to the launch to electrical box and say, “You know what? I’m going to do a 720 and throw a fishbrain in there.” That’s before he tosses out one of the biggest fakie threes my tiring old eyes have ever seen.

Those of us that have been paying attention only saw that crazy kid breaking weird shit open at BCSD, contests all over the place and breaking open concrete with them Rollerblades.

But you shouldn’t take my word for it. Actually, if you’re looking for the right words, you should always ask that Juiced Sucka Foo Rob G. He always knows what’s up.

Another JSF-ing teammate had a reaction to the contest as well…

Keane put it in the simplest and therefore most effective way: real.

In the limited contact I’ve personally had with David over the past three years, I can, without a doubt, say that that kid is real. Not like American cheese “real,” but like Grand Canyon real.

Even if Sizemore doesn’t win the WRS Uploaded contest, he did what every great champion does whether win, lose, or draw—he inspired.

Thanks for the good show, David, and congrats to Julien for advancing.

Blade or Die,

— Brian Krans

P.S. — As long as you have to buy shit for people you don’t like, might I suggest serving up some of my words to your loved ones. Not your mom or dad, but that weirdo cousin who leaves his headphones in during Christmas dinner. Those are my people:

26 Comments

  • So glad you already wrote about this.

    We know who really won!

  • So glad you already wrote about this.

    We know the real champ!

  • Yep, btw don’t talk about people talking on Sizemore wall, about voting several times by proxy and phones…

  • LA FRANCE wrote:

    if u want, u can suck me
    IF U WANT, U CAN SUCK ME

  • Unfair !! Muuuuuuuummm !!!!
    Pffff ridiculous …

  • Cudot just hammers ! Sizemore some minifile scenes.. Cudot Wins accept !

  • Kevin Mitnick wrote:

    I hacked the system

  • 100% on point. Great article.

  • stop whining “mauvais perdants”. Both sides were using proxies… There wasn’t a better edit, just depend on how you see and love rollerblading… Proves another time that you feel like the center of OUR world… really disappointed by this article

  • Great read, sir. St. Ours’ quote had me laughing so hard. Love that guy.

  • Its not a euro v ‘merica battle
    I’m from the uk and my feed was fully of the same ’sizemore should win’ bizz that you just posted.
    so to James Ours I hope some jacked up euro immigrant stabs you tomorrow…… if you can be a immigrant in a country founded by europeans.

  • great article brian, sizemore’s edit also has 5000 more views and almost double the likes on vimeo. hopefully the judges give him first place after the fan voting

  • BeauCottington wrote:

    I love euros I was just making a scene, just for the record! :) my wife is Swedish after all!

  • It s a nice article and Even if I supported Cudot…you re supporting your friend and this is a great thing… But guys back in the days we were a family…no matter where, how we were skating…we did it for fun…
    Today Cudot won not because of proxy, only because we ask our people in France to support him…
    Why…? because they were both freaking good, because julien has been killing it since ages, because even if our nation is pretty fucked up now with politics and so on, we are still supporting our frenchies as you are supporting ur homies
    Fuck we should stop this fucking war that WRS is making…
    Both countries are representing rollerblade on their way, maybe we should just respect the hard work of all the skater that take part of it and the final results and then party all together as we always have done…that s what make our sport, life style so diiferent and that what made me love rollerblading…personnaly
    Peace and congrats David and Julien for these edits that will stay in our mind for ages.

  • This is a fuckin internet contest and the fact that Cudot won doesn’t mean shit. Like it or not, in contests like this 60% of the votes come from friends/fan boys who re-post the video 39424023423904 times.
    The fact that some ‘Mericans are so butthurt over shit like this is just sad. The fact that you actually spent time writing this is even more sad and just shows what a big baby you are.

    You should all grow the fuck up and stop acting like kids – it’s just an internet contest, deal with it.

  • And what is the point of this article if you guys can not understand what is fan voteing. There is no doubt that sizamors edit is better in every way and when it comes to judgeing you will see it. But now you are baseicly whineing about that in EU are more fans who whant to support their choise. And I can`t find notheing bad in it, stop complaining who WON in FAN VOTEING.

  • I agree what A says.
    And I dont get it, cudot wasn’t that bad? It was 50 / 50 in my opinion. But, back to the real world, searching for porno now.

  • Uncle Truck wrote:

    Cudot begged everywhere for votes, true, but if you think this kid is able to use bots, you’re damn wrong.

    I vote for him because I know he’ll buy me a drink for it. Period.

    For info, he filmed the part in like 3 days, in Paris only, topping everything already done on rusted spots.

    I already told him he can’t be on same page as most American skaters, as long as he can’t jump big gaps, and enlarge his trick repertory ( still, peep his Bercy skatepark edit from last year, just pure rape )

    Nonetheless,as he was injured most year and gets out drinking 4 times a week for the past 2 years, I have to say I’m amazed.

    Yes, Sizemore edit and catalogue of tricks is better, his blading looks smarter, but some people would still consider hammers.

    Final point guys, I don’t believe we could have found 6000 French skaters to vote for him. Sure some people on other side of ocean did too.

    So well, freedom fries… Sounds too much like an ex Texan football team owner to me.

  • Uncle Truck wrote:

    Still, I agree David did a fucking good job on his skating.

    Julien still needs to.

    On the other hand, if you guys want to express any bad opinions on French skaters, I believe there’s a lot to be found, Like Romain G, Adrien A or Roman A.

  • French population 65M

    USA population 315M

    If yanks can’t find enough votes for a US skater, within a population over 4 times the size of France then quit bitching and except it.

    You lost to people who are so fucking lazy they go on strike every fucking week and surrender at the thought of any conflict.

  • marcelo oliveira wrote:

    dammm do americans knows how to loose?
    honestly i love sizemore… but i voted for cudot… just for one reason… he killed…. most popular or not… i dont care… he just killed… f.u. americans!! go begin another war on terror!!!

  • Beau Cottington wrote:

    You can buy votes on fiverr.com, I am some of you know that. Look at the view counts and likes in comparison to the votes. It simply does not add up, unless you have a mass proxy voting scam, or you buy the votes from a hacker that does that shit all day for as little as 5$. Americans are not upset our guy lost, but rather, the disconnect between our (us and europe) senses of style and what we each consider good skating. At least for me, that is what is frustrating. I look at sizemores edit and see genius, I saw the same thing with cudot, but it just was on a obviously lesser scale. Is that me favoring a US rider without merit? I Was told that is what I did, but nothing could be further from the truth. Sizemore winning was the broad opinion in the US, and it has nothing to do with anything but the raw skating, it’s not about countries or continents. It’s about being critical in your review, and objective in your voting decision.

  • cudot has the wackest style . some spin to win bullshit. that 450 savanah looked like a fucking spinning top. Sizemore is on another fucking level

  • Shut up Beau you fat peice of Shit.

    You’re out of touch, like most fat yanks, with Euro skaters if you are going to bunch them all into the Cudot “Euro Style”

    Look at fucking Aragon who all these spin to win skaters jock….he’s the worst of all for spin to win into and out of every trick with shit style from 2004

  • [...] gibberish long enough, you can recall my Sizemore fandom after his WRS edit (I happily declared him The People’s Champ), so there’s no reason to say more than this: my reaction to witnessing the glory of the [...]

  • [...] is, after all, the People’s Champion, something he earned during the WRS Uploaded contest in 2012, in which he essentially fakie 360 [...]

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